TBOS R3, The Silver Hart, P3

A sound like dull thunder trembled through the forest, though the sky was clear and bright. Birds burst into flight and small animals darted into holes and burrows, and the cavalcade of humans charged past without paying any thought to these smaller lives; nearly every mind was bent upon the silver quarry which had just been sighted, but vanished in the thicket before they could draw near enough for bowshot.

Jaya was, at the moment, more concerned with staying on her horse. Growing up a city girl, as it turned out, had its downsides, and while she could handle riding at a walk, anything faster jarred her every bone and made her long for a much simpler, more modern form of transportation.

At last the king called a halt; they had lost the stag. So far, Jaya hadn't caught much more than slight glimpses of it, flashes of silver through the leaves ahead, and not for the first time that day she wondered just what she was doing. She had no interest in hunting animals; on top of that, Vardan had beamed so widely upon seeing her join the party that morning that she felt instantly guilty, as though she was somehow stringing him along. Vespera's words concerning the young man stayed with her, and Jaya had been hyper-alert of every glance he threw her way throughout the morning.

As for Vespera herself, she and Tatiana had indeed been following the hunting party on bright, flashing wings. Jaya kept seeing them between the trees, little glimpses as they darted close and far, and she was glad they had explained themselves to her; she might have mentioned them casually to someone otherwise and received nothing but a confused look in return.

Her horse followed the others to a forest stream; while it drank, Jaya dismounted clumsily, hitting the ground with a wince. She took the opportunity to stretch her legs gladly, and banished the notion that she would soon have to climb back onto the horse to the back of her mind. At this rate, it wouldn't be long before she took back every complaint she had ever made about the city buses back home. Compared to sitting astride a galloping horse, those lurching, rumbling monstrosities were practically luxurious.

"Beautiful day for a hunt," said an older voice behind her. Jaya turned to see Leon riding by, his lined face lit up with a broad smile. "Have you been enjoying it, young Lady?"

"It's…something new," Jaya admitted. Before she could think twice about it, she blurted out, "do you mind talking for a moment? It's about Vardan."

"My son? What is it?"

Jaya quickly checked down the line of men and horses at the stream; Vardan was a good distance away, chatting with another dark-haired squire.

"I'm not really sure, but I think he might…like me."

Leon's face took on a confused cast.

"Is there a reason why he should dislike you?"

"No, I mean…like, as in more-than-like."

Jaya could feel her face heating up; she had never imagined herself in such an uncomfortable conversation before. Romance and boyfriends had never been at the forefront of her mind; destroying Utsuyan and keeping her secrets had always taken such vital priority that it left little room for anything else beyond her education and her family.

At least Leon seemed to have gotten the idea of her roundabout phrasing; the confusion vanished from his countenance.

"You believe he may be in love with you?"

"I believe he may have a crush on me. Perhaps. It's…hard for me to be sure."

"Ah, I see." Leon's head tilted as he scrutinized her. "You do not seem pleased by this. Is there something wrong with it?"

She took a deep breath and organized her thoughts.

"I came from somewhere very far away, and it's time I went home. I won't be staying here. Vardan needs to realize this."

"You want him to be able to forget you, when the time comes?"

Jaya jerked her head in something which passed for a nod. Leon shifted in his saddle, rubbing his beard thoughtfully. His eyes slid toward Vardan.

"He is still young. It is not so simple, forgetting a love, but his heart will heal with time."

"I just don't want him to…expect anything."

"Such as your hand?" Leon shook his head. "No worries there. I have tried to teach him otherwise, but he still believes that only courtly love is real. In his eyes, marriage is nothing, while love from the distance of a Knight to a Lady is everything. He would never expect, or even wish, that from you."

"That's…strange," Jaya admitted, thinking of her own parents. "At least, it would be where I come from."

"In my own experience, it is, perhaps, not completely true," Leon agreed. "I loved my wife with all my heart, and wedding her changed nothing. Vardan…looks so like her."

He coughed and blinked rapidly, clearing the memories away for the time being.

"I will not mention any of this to him. Matters of the heart are always the Lady's prerogative; it is for you to decide what course to take."

"I was hoping you could talk to him about it, actually," Jaya said, her face twisting uncomfortably at the thought of repeating this conversation with Vardan himself.

Leon shook his head in a negative gesture.

"I am sorry, but this is a matter between you and him, and while I willingly offer my counsel for what it's worth, I cannot act the part of an intermediary."

"Great. Thanks for that."

"You are quite welcome."

Leon rode off. Not long after, the call to saddle back up and move out again came out; one of the forward scouts had caught another glimpse of silver. Jaya struggled back onto her horse, saw Vardan heading her way, and bit back a groan.

Pretending something wasn't really there never quite worked, but just this once, it might be worth a try.

-*-

They camped that night in the wood, having caught little more than tiny glimpses of a flank or silvered horn in the brush, though some of the bolder scouting youths had already embellished their tales to include passing so near the stag they could feel its breath on their hands and other such nonsense. Vardan had been one of them, and his merry involvement in the thick of things had been part of what prevented Jaya from pulling him aside and giving him the talk she had at least partially prepared during the latter half of the day.

The other part was her preoccupation with the fact that a large swath of the forest directly beside them was covered in buildings of steel and concrete, with brilliant white lights and city noise and graffiti and billboards. It began and ended abruptly in a space about two blocks long, and who knew how many blocks deep. Strange vehicles, similar to cars but slicker and more streamlined in design and construction, tore through the streets, appearing and vanishing with the boundary line. As the night grew dark around them these movements, and the glowing lights, decreased, but they never entirely vanished.

Nobody else had noticed a thing. Jaya could see faces lit on one side by the flickering orange campfire and on the other by the shining brilliance of a fluorescent streetlight, yet none of them seemed to see this. None glimpsed the buildings towering above them, monstrous and close-set, nor heard the buzzing growls of the strange cars which fast approached them only to vanish where the blacktop turned abruptly to loam.

Jaya knew all these things were there, and knew that she was alone in knowing, and wondered if this was something a little like insanity. Her curiosity, coupled by the hardness of the ground and the strange sounds of the forest, kept her from sleep; she gave up tossing and turning to sit a distance away from the sleeping hunters and contemplate the portion of city stuck here, comparing it to the hospital hall in Leon's castle and wondering if this was part of the world-breaking which had been described to her only the night before.

Something rustled and whispered beside her. She turned her head to see Tatiana approaching on foot, her wings folded under her cloak again. Flowers sprung up at her feet, dying as she passed them by. She, too, was looking at the city with seeing eyes, and Jaya felt a slight, vague relief and a sense of companionship, despite hardly knowing her.

"Are you not tired?" Tatiana asked at length, her voice formal and distant. Jaya hummed and nodded.

"Yet, you are not sleeping."

"I'm tired, but it's like I'm still way too alert. I can't sleep."

"Ah. I see."

They remained side-by-side in silence for a space, Jaya with her knees drawn up to her chest and her chin upon them, Tatiana standing regally upright and unmoving. Both watched as another car whizzed into view, red taillights glowing bright upon their faces for a moment before fading with distance.

"I've been thinking," Jaya said suddenly. "Last night, you said that all worlds have stories, and all stories are in the Book. So, this…would this sort of thing be happening to my home?"

"Perhaps," Tatiana replied, "and perhaps not. Vespera and I had not expected to find worlds overlapping as they are here; instead, we had been finding other evidences of breaking. Stories were ending too soon, being caught in timeless loops and eternal repetition, people reverting to their most basic forms and roles…"

"Is there a way to know if a world has been…broken, then?"

"Seeing it. Noticing all the things that have gone wrong – little things, perhaps, but ones that would grow."

"Oh."

Tatiana looked at the city with hard eyes.

"You can't go back, you know. Not now, and not as you are. There is no going back at this point, no matter what you fear has befallen your world."

"But wouldn't it be better if we had more people looking?" Jaya suggested quickly. "I know people I can trust, and at least some of them would be far more eager to help than me. They might find a way to fix this—"

"No. You don't understand; only those with permission are meant to travel the worlds. You were meant to be here; your companions are not. They are meant to keep the balance in your home as much as they are able. Your return could only destroy that balance."

"I don't see how it was meant. Baldo walked right by that page; he could easily have picked it up instead of me."

"Yet he didn't. It was intended for you. Fate may be…diverted," Tatiana said, a touch unhappily, "but not defeated."

"I don't believe in fate."

"You don't have to."

"And I don't see how informing my friends about what's happening could do any harm," Jaya continued stubbornly, shifting her eyes to glare up at the fairy beside her. She was given a haughty, unaffected look in return.

"There is a reason why the Book has not yet allowed you to go back, despite your deliberate attempt and despite being even on the brink of death, young human. Have you even considered that?"

"Has this Book even considered my thoughts or wants? I'm not going to be jerked around by anything – gods, fate, a Book…I'll make my own choices, thanks."

"Despite not knowing everything you should?"

"That's life, isn't it?"

Tatiana shook her head, pressing her lips together. She took a breath, spun around, and dropped gracefully into a crouch directly in front of Jaya. Her hands shot out and seized the girl's arms, eyes closed.

Jaya jerked back, or rather tried; the delicate woman's grip was slightly harder to break than she had first assumed.

"What are you—?"

Tatiana released Jaya's arms only to gesture at her left shoulder.

"Roll up your sleeve, to the elbow."

"Why?"

"To see something."

Doubtful and confused, Jaya warily complied. Tatiana took her bare arm and rotated it, exposing the dark line on Jaya's skin. It hadn't seemed quite so dark when she had first discovered it, Jaya thought, though that could have been a trick of the night and the fluorescent streetlights nearby.

"I don't know what it is. I woke up with it. It won't wash off; I've tried. I'm almost afraid those doctors did something."

"It is the first sign of your breaking."

A beat of silence fell between them.

"It's…what?"

Tatiana met her eyes, firm and meaningful.

"You are breaking. It's just a little around the edges right now, but it will spread. Slowly but surely, you will begin to lose yourself, the way entire worlds are being lost."

Jaya's right hand wound around her forearm, gripping tightly.

"There may be a way to stop it," Tatiana said, "but I am not sure what that could be, other than saving the Book itself. That is why you must not return home; you could well be its shattering point. There is a reason why you were meant to go; that reason cannot be so that you could turn back halfway or lose yourself to the Book's unraveling."

"Next you're going to tell me that my fate is tied to my world's," Jaya said, half bitter, half afraid, "and that fate made it my responsibility or something."

"Everybody's fate is connected, because fate comes largely from both our choices and the choices of others. The Book chose you, and you chose to pick up its page in return. That is what makes fate. As for responsibility…because of the Book you may have a duty, but responsibility comes in here."

Tatiana pointed at the left side of Jaya's chest.

"If the choice were completely yours, yes, you would have gone home immediately, but the Book shared in that choice, and it had the greater call and need. But now that you have a greater understanding of the worlds – of yourself – can you really make the same decision you once did?"

The silence returned, unbroken for once even by the sound of wheels on asphalt and roaring engines. Jaya's skin was turning white under the pressure of her own fingers as she struggled to find a response. Just as she opened her mouth, a sudden golden glow enveloped them and Vespera appeared.

"It's here!" she announced. Tatiana stood and spun; Jaya scrambled less gracefully to her feet, looking about and reaching for her baldric in habit. Vespera lifted her arm to point into the city, directly at the nearest building, and they watched intently.

Faint little clicks and scrapes reached Jaya's ears. The slow, rhythmic sounds paused for a long moment, then continued, and something silvery glinted beyond the corner of the skyscraper. A curving antler tip, a delicate hoof, a smooth silver nose…bit by bit, the stag came into view, until he was fully poised on the city sidewalk, looking out at the dangerous street. Abruptly his head swung about, and he was looking directly at them with dark, blue-lit eyes.

"It's a machine," Jaya breathed, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Fluorescent light gleamed off of smooth metal plates, and slight gaps showed where the joints were left free to provide motion. The stag didn't move to breathe nor to blink, though its ears swiveled, picking up unknown signals – whether sound waves or something only machines could detect. Its balance was perfect, its motions smooth and lifelike; it was more art than robot, some man's masterpiece in mimicking nature.

An impossible correlation clicked into place in Jaya's mind, a connection she would have immediately rejected had she not known that she existed in a realm of stories told, and one which she still had trouble accepting.

"I know its story," she whispered quickly, her own plight momentarily forgotten. "My brother, Michael – he's a writer. He told me about an idea he had: a future city, where nothing lives except humans and some bugs and birds, and there was a man, a scientist, who made a silver deer – he called it a hart – because it was beautiful instead of useful. The government didn't like it and tried to destroy the deer and jailed the scientist, but the deer escaped…and that's all I know."

"The story hasn't finished?"

Jaya shook her head.

"He's working on it. He said I could read it when it was done."

The hart regarded them languidly. A sudden sound or signal then caught his ear; he jerked his head around, then wheeled and bounded down the street, away from them.

"Well, in that case we could have a problem," Vespera said dryly. "That deer has been appearing in both worlds, even though nothing else seems to cross borders. The thing is, it's also being hunted in both stories, but each story demands a different ending. This old-fashioned place has to finish with killing it; the other, more 'modern' story is more likely to end with the deer's happy escape – unless your brother looks for the tragic in a tale?"

"No, he'd choose the happier one, I think."

"Uh-huh. And then either way, the Book just wants them over and done with, no matter how it happens, so that it can condense their core elements into a single story."

"We could try the pathways again, for this world," Tatiana suggested, "but this time they would break up the hunt before it could end properly. Many of the oldest tales are diverted from their main quest in such a way; it could preserve these men long enough for us to do something about it all."

"It might not work," Vespera warned, "and then we still have that mechanical monstrosity of a world to deal with."

"Better to leave that for later, since we don't know where to find the key players of that tale…unless, Jaya?"

She shook her head regretfully.

"He only explained the synopsis to me. I don't know the details."

"Very well," Tatiana said. "Then if there are no objections, tomorrow I will begin diverting their stories to other things."

Vespera shook her head, shrugging and spreading her hands helplessly.

"Fine. Do what you want, I guess. But next time one of us gets to keep an eye on that deer all night, it'll be you."

-*-

Jaya didn't see how Tatiana did it, but throughout the next day hunters broke off of the main party for various reasons. One man had urgent business at his castle and had to leave, taking his best friend and the man's squire along with him; another group took on a quest to save a princess stolen by a water dragon; yet another few knights left after being challenged by an ogre. Hour by hour, the group dwindled, and nobody seemed to notice or particularly care, not even when the King himself turned back due to reports of a great talking eagle appearing at his palace and giving great prophecies about him and his young sons.

By mid-afternoon, the only ones left on the Silver Stag's trail were Jaya, a great bear of a knight called Russ, Leon and Vardan. With fewer horses to dodge, Tatiana and Vespera had taken to flying openly alongside the group; Vespera had, at one point, showed an unexpected mischievous side by pulling faces at Jaya and whispering jokes in her ear, trying to make her crack up laughing for no discernable reason. Unfortunately, Vardan had been trying to regale her with tales of his own at the same time, and between them Jaya didn't know who to try punching first.

Then, suddenly, Russ rode aside for a bathroom break and never quite made it back, so that they were forced to go on without him as well. Hours more passed, with the stag more clearly and more frequently glimpsed than before, and Jaya began casting glances aside at Tatiana, wondering when she would move these last two aside. The sooner the better, Jaya thought; perhaps then there would be no need for awkward conversations and the guilt of killing some fledgling crush on her part. But the fairy's eyes were always fixed firmly ahead, and she gave neither hint nor word of her plans to set an alternate path at their feet.

Evening fell, and they were still together. Jaya caught snatches of a furiously whispered conversation between the two fairies and deliberately avoided them. She also made an effort at avoiding Vardan, but it was harder without a crowd of friends to distract him and hide her; he practically dogged her footsteps, insisting on helping her clear some ground, feed and rub her horse, and gather wood – and his idea of 'helping' was doing the lot of it with her watching.

Jaya finally had enough when Vardan asked her, for the third time, to pile her armload of kindling on top of his own; instead, she threw it to the ground.

"Would you stop that?"

A pair of birds exploded from a nearby tree at her shout, flapping off noisily. Jaya fixed Vardan with a glare, unconsciously shifting her weight into a wider, slightly more intimidating stance. His mouth was agape and his green eyes wide as he regarded her, as though this was something completely unexpected.

"I am not one of your pretty court ladies with their stupid dresses and weak little arms. I come from a very different place, Vardan, and I can handle myself! So stop being an idiot about things! I don't mind a helping hand, but it's ridiculous when you think I can't take an armful of wood by myself. Ridiculous and insulting."

"Lady Jaya," he began weakly. Jaya cut him off with an upraised hand.

"Don't. No 'Lady' here. Call me Jaya, but no embellishments."

"J-Jaya…I never meant insult to you. I thought…I thought I was only doing as is proper…for a Squire, or a Knight, I mean."

Jaya passed a hand over her face with a sigh.

"Yes, and good for you. Keep doing it…with actual Ladies. Not with me."

"But…I don't want to," he said in a very small voice, "with other Ladies."

Her face burned and she felt extremely uncomfortable. This was the very conversation she had hoped to avoid.

"Listen," she said carefully, wishing there were ways to control a blush properly, "I'm not going to be here that long. I'll be sticking around for the hunt, then I'll be going h—moving on. I don't belong here, and I can't stay. You've got to understand that."

"Please stay," Vardan said suddenly, balancing his load in one arm and reaching for Jaya's hand with the other. She moved away quickly. "Jaya, please?"

"No, Vardan. I can't. I really am sorry."

She turned around and began walking back to the camp, following the trail markers they had made on the way out.

"But I…I think…I lo—"

"No, you don't," Jaya shouted over her shoulder. She turned once more to face him properly, and immediately wished she hadn't; he had approximately the same expression as a man who had just been stabbed in the chest by one he counted a close friend. "You don't even know me, Vardan. The only thing you can possibly love that way is a face and an idea, and that's not love – that's a useless little crush. Save it. You'll meet someone better someday, I promise…and she'll actually love you back."

He didn't follow her; Jaya returned to the camp alone, some time later, with a new load of kindling in her arms. Leon sat with a pair of rabbits in hand, skinning them deftly. Jaya tried not to look as she set up a crude approximation of a campfire.

"You spoke with him?"

"Yes."

"How was it?"

"Like killing a small, helpless, defenseless animal," Jaya replied, punctuating each word with a strike of the flint stone. "Taking a tiny puppy that trusted you, and…"

Sparks finally appeared, catching on the smallest twigs. Jaya blew on them, coaxing them to greater life.

"That doesn't make you heartless."

Little tongues of flame rose at last, hungrily consuming the dead wood. Jaya leaned back and glared at them.

"It still doesn't feel like it was a good thing to do."

"Hurting someone else never should, especially when that person, to borrow your words, trusted you. Still, it was for the best, especially if you truly intend to leave. It's better to break clean than to leave someone waiting and wondering. You can't live always trying to return to what once was."

Unconsciously, Jaya's hand curled around her left forearm, where the thin dark line of her breaking stood out starkly in her mind. She wished she had never known, but it was perhaps best that she did.

Tatiana and Leon were right: moving onward was her only option now.

"Yes," she said aloud, "I know."